Kate: welcome everyone to our show tonight. My name is Kate Chaconas, and I just wanted
to introduce you to tonight’s first piece. It’s a sketch by our own Jeff Tingley that he came
up with for all of us. However, for the past week...I was actually in Florida.
All offstage: Bitch!
Kate: So, I wasnt around to rehearse. I just wanted to let you know that because I may look
a little “off” during this sketch. Thank you! (runs off)
(Chipper music starts as Eric and Jon enter and start working on an assembly line)
E: *sigh* another toy. yay.
J: ya, I’m sick of this. day in, day out....same crap for whiney kids.
E: I used to Love my job, but the monotony is getting to me! No offense, but you’ve been starting
to have a negative attitude on me!
J: I’m sorry, would you rather go work in the new in-line skateboard division!?! you’ll be jobless
in a few weeks...
E:....unless you’re also a paramedic!
J:... Now, shut up and keep making those blocks!
Tommy enters wearing a brown wig and elf hat.
T: Hi everyone! I’m Katie elf! Today’s my first day of work and I’m so excited to be here!
E: Hi Katie! welcome to our shop! It’s so nice to have someone new to work with!
J: Helllllo!!!! enuff chit chat....get to work, if we don’t make our quota...I dont’ want to be the
one to pay!
E: *sigh* yes, Johnny elf is right. back to work.
Tommy stands next to Jon and starts working on the assembly line. a monotonous rythym of
building and sdnfx starts, soon it turns into a bit of a song that tommy starts dancing too, Eric
soon joins in slowly. As jon notices, he keeps frantically working and panicing, and getting mad.
Soon Tommy breaks out into song and Eric joins still happily working. The two soon are dancing
and singing an impromptu song.
After a bit. Jon freaks out.
J: SHUT UP! STOP IT! You don’t want “you know who” to come down here!
T: Who’s know who you?
E:(quietly)....the big guy....
Just then Jeff Tingley enters as a huge sadistic santa with evil laughter. Play Loud Industrial Music(NIN?).
He starts yelling at them to get to work and cracking a whip. Milk this and start yelling.  He is over
the top and evil as the elves squeel in pain. he leaves. Music fades out with his exit.
J: I told you guys....now hurry get back to work!
E: I’m sorry Johnny Elf.
T: Wait! I don’t get it! All my life I’ve wanted to be a toy making elf! Christmas isn’t evil.....
J(overlapping): ....Big guy all in red, starts with an S, extreme temperatures.....
E (overlapping):..... better watch out...better not cry....
T: No, you guys are wrong! Its the spirit of the season. I have to do this! I was told if I don’t give
gifts, I’m gonna go to hell!
E: (beat) you are in hell.
Industrial Music resumes.
Santa offstage: Ho Ho Ho! *whip*
Kate: Freeze! (all onstage freeze.Music Stops.) And on a lighter note, I would now like to show
you MY Santa sketch.....see, I drew it all myself using my new crayons! (smiles, curtsies
extensively, etc.)
Whistle. Blackout. New Music. the cast scatters.

Announce: Ladies & Gentlemen, Phantom Sheep Comedy Productions proudly
presents.....(lights fade up slightly)
Jeff Tingley! (he goes running up)
Jon Gill! (he goes running up)
Kate Chaconas! (Tommy goes running up, Kate flying up from the side to intercept and knocks
him outta the way. stands, waves, and smiles!)
and Eric Boucher!
Welcome to LaughCrafters!
whiste.music stop.
Go right into “What are you doing”
Tag. No Blackout nor Music. Go right into Welcome: