CAST:
Vinnie: Jon
Horshack:Eric
Epstein: Tommy
Harry: Jeff or Kate (one looks the part, the other can do the accent)
VO: Justin

3 Sweathogs are sitting in chairs facing as a dorky kid in glasses wearing a black robe enters.

HARRY: Okay, Class, settle down now….it has been several years since I graduated from Hogwarts, but I assure you, if you pay attention to my lecture, you will make your house proud.

(they all laugh at him)

HARRY: Excuse me! You! Yes you….

VINNIE: who?

HARRY: you!

VINNIE: what?

HARRY: pay attention!

VINNIE: Where?

HARRY: That’s it! No Quiddich for you!

HORSHACK: ooooh! Ooooh! Oooh!

HARRY: Yes, Horshack?

HORSHACK: (stands) Misssster Potter…..Even though the sorting hat said I am a sweathog, I feel I most resemble your own griffindor! (he then chortles) HEH HEH HEH.

HARRY: Thank you…now, Sit down please!

(just then, Epstein swaggers in)

HARRY: Epstein! You’re late to my Potions Pondering class!

EPSTEIN: It’s okay, Mr.Pott-ier….I gotta note!

HARRY: Enuff with your notes!

(the class then erupts into character cliches)

MUSIC: Kotter theme song

VO: Gabe Radcliff stars in Welcome Back Potter! Coming Soon to a Phantom Sheep Show near you!